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IELTS: Grammar check with Grammarly 본문
IELTS: Grammar check with Grammarly
Since I was suspicious of my grammatical errors, I checked the grammar of my previous writings with Grammarly which is a free grammar checking service (link). By doing so, I hoped I could figure out what are my frequent errors in grammar.
The original writings are in this post:
1. Task 1
1.1 Self-corrected version of my writing
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to request an arrangement of the timetable of the train which has recently been changed.
I am a resident in Clayton who works in the Melbourne central area. Usually, I take a train at Clayton Station which is in Cranbourne line to go to Melbourne Central Station. Every Mondays and Wednesdays, I make this travel about 7.40 am at Clayton to go to the downtown and about 5.20 pm at Melbourne Central to return home. The temporary timetable which has been applied for construction to remove the level crossing, causes serious interruption on my morning travel as there is no more train at 7.40 am at Clayton to the city centre. The replaced bus to serve instead of the train around the time causes 10 minutes delay as maximum.
Consequently, I hope you will place more replacement buses to compensate the aforementioned delay. I believe that you would understand 10-minute difference in the morning is considerable.
I look forward to hearing from you with acceptable arrangement.
Yours sincerely,
1.2 Grammarly corrected version
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to request an arrangement of the timetable of the train which has recently been changed.
I am a resident in Clayton who works in the Melbourne central area. Usually, I take a train at Clayton Station which is in Cranbourne line to go to Melbourne Central Station. Every Mondays and Wednesdays, I make this travel about 7.40 am at Clayton to go to the downtown and about 5.20 pm at Melbourne Central to return home. The temporary timetable which has been applied for construction to remove the level crossing, causes a serious interruption on my morning travel as there is no more train at 7.40 am at Clayton to the city centre. The replaced bus to serve instead of the train around the time causes 10 minutes delay as maximum at most.
Consequently, I hope you will place more replacement buses to compensate the aforementioned delay. I believe that you would understand the 10-minute difference in the morning is considerable.
I look forward to hearing from you with acceptable arrangements.
Yours sincerely,
1.3 Correction list:
(1) Remove the comma in 'crossing, causes' because it is separating the subject and the verb.
(2) Insert 'a' before 'serious interruption' because interruption is a countable noun.
(3) Change 'as maximum' to 'at most', since there is no such expression like 'as maximum.' 'at a maximum' is a possible alternative but it doesn't look very appropriate in this sentence. This correction was not suggested by Grammarly.
(4) Insert 'the' before '10-minute difference' because 'difference' is used as a countable noun.
(5) Add 's' at the end of 'acceptable arrangement' because it is used with a meaning of 'a plan for how something will happen'. See Cambridge Dictionary for the reference.
1.4 Conclusion
Commas and articles are the most frequent errors I make.
2. Task 2
2.1 Self-corrected version of my writing
It is often claimed that a parent of infants must be financially supported by the government when he or she takes full care of the children. In this essay, I would like to discuss the advantages and disadvantages that the described policy may bring.
Obviously, parents can spend more time with their children if they are paid for staying at home, which is a great benefit. Consequently, it will enhance the emotional connections between the parents and children. Furthermore, parents will understand their kids in depth, and vice versa.
Additionally, it will be a good chance for parents to refresh while staying away from their jobs, if they are paid with reasonable amount of money. As a result, they can have some breaks to think about their careers and to redesign their career paths.
On the contrary, the drawbacks are also evident. Usually, young married couples with infants are at the very important moments in their employment timeline. For instance, they may be about to be promoted to the next level or they may be responsible for a significant project as a junior manager. Several years of career interruption can be critical in finding the next position, even though they are financially supported during the caring period.
Moreover, in the aspect of community, this can cause serious lack of social responsibilities which eventually will make the society less efficient. Imagine one society where half of young adults are staying at home and compare it to another one where most of them are working in their expertise. No words are needed to explain which society is more productive.
In my opinion, very young children can be cared in proper facilities while their parents contribute to the society by doing their works in their specialties as well as enjoying developing their careers.
2.2 Grammarly corrected version
15 August 2016
gguro
(1) IELTS writing 연습. General Training
(2) IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 1: Self-assessment
(3) IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 2: Self-assessment
(4) IELTS writing practice: General training module
(5) IELTS writing: Model answer (General Training, Task 2)
(6) IELTS writing practice: Task 1 & 2 - Self-assessment & Sample answers
(7) IELTS writing practice, General Training Module, Task 1 & 2 (15 July 2016)
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