IELTS writing practice: General training module

IELTS writing practice: General training module

I'm writing again about IELTS writing. Here is the list of the previous postings on this topic.

(1) IELTS writing 연습. General Training

(2) IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 1: Self-assessment

(3) IELTS Writing practice. General training module. Task 2: Self-assessment

This time I used the book "Cambridge English IELTS 9" as shown in the picture above. And I printed out the sample writing answer sheets to estimate better the number of words I write.

I didn't record the questions in the tasks by mistake, yet you can guess what they are about if you read the answers.

Here are my writings.

1. 

Task 1

Dear Mr Crane,

   I am writing this letter to request one week of leave in June.

   My friend who lives in Boston is visiting me so I would like to take a week off to spend time with him. He will arrive at the Melbourne International Airport on 17th June, and then will stay until 22nd June in my house. Therefore, I would like to have days off from 16th to 23rd of June. 

   Obviously, I fully understand the current project that I am working on has very tight schedule to the deadline which is in July. I asked Shirley to take over the experiments, and Charlene to perform the numerical simulations. I will make sure that they will understand the background of the project, and be capable of performing the tasks. Additionally, I will keep my mobile phone on so that I can be contacted if there is an urgent issue. 

   I'd appreciate your consideration on my request for leave.

Sincerely,

Alan Shore

Assessment:

Number of words: 158 (>150)

Spelling errors: None

Comments: It's pretty well written.

2.

Task 2

   As a result of wide spread of multimedia and advanced technologies of recording and filming, there exist a lot of stars in various forms. These celebrities earn much money and their lives are being broadcasted to public. Some of them complain or even regret for being famous while others look enjoying their popularities. Here, I would like to address what problems and benefits they have as celebrities with examples, then give my opinion on it.

   Firstly, I would like to show the downside of being a star. The most frequently mentioned problem is the lack of privacy. Once you become a celebrity, then you will be taken photos and videos by camerapeople of newspapers and magazines as well as general publics. Sometimes it is so stressful that some stars may not go out freely. Furthermore, some pictures and movie clips taken in such ways may be used to generate unpleasant rumors, for example inappropriate affairs out of marriage or shameful visits to wrong places even though those are not confirmed as facts. 

   On the other hand, there are significant benefits they can have by being stars. For instance, they can make substantial amount of income in a relatively short time, which is unexpectable with ordinary jobs in general. In addition, they often get compliments and praises by public for what they have showed and achieved.

   In my opinion, the advantages brought by being a popular person are greater than the difficulties caused by it. I believe that they have better chance to overcome their problems with the financial benefits compare to the general people. 

  In conclusion, advantages and disadvantages to be a celebrity was covered in this essay with my personal opinion which is the formers are still greater as considering life is not easy for everyone. 

Assessment

Number of words: 297 (> 250)

Spelling errors:

general publics (x) -> the general public (o)

the formers (x) -> the former (o)

Comments:

It is not good to have one paragraph of one's opinion before the conclusion paragraph according to most of IELTS writing books. They all recommend to keep your opinion till the last paragraph which I don't agree with. 

3. Conclusion

It's not easy to properly assess since I don't remember the task questions. This post is just to keep it as a record. The key lesson here is that using the answer sheet samples in your practices is important.

12 July 2016

gguro